


Mistaken Assumptions

by meltinglacier



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Betrayal, Emotionally Repressed, Gen, POV Female Character, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-13
Updated: 2012-12-13
Packaged: 2017-11-21 00:58:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meltinglacier/pseuds/meltinglacier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mai had once believed that Azula cared for her. That was before the accident. Before she realized that she was just a tool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistaken Assumptions

**Author's Note:**

> In canon, it is shown that Mai doesn't care all that much about Azula's orders and that Azula doesn't scare her ("She can shoot all the lightning she wants at me; I am not going in that wall-sludge juice."). This story gives an explanation why. Oh, and the lack of quotations in some places is intentional.
> 
> Cross posted to ff.net.

 

There had been a time when Mai had cared for Azula, when she didn't mind so much the way Azula treated her.

Azula was like that. She had the ability to make people look up to her, envy her, when they should have hated her. Someone had once described her as "inspirational, yet terrifying."

It was true. Azula was a force to be feared. Sometimes, she swept into people's lives like a whirlwind and turned things upside down. In others, she entered subtly, quietly manipulating them, changing them. Either way, things with Azula were always interesting. When Mai spent time with her, she wasn't bored. She liked that.

There was a price to being around Azula though. She was unpredictable and wild, playing the part of a tame princess. When she was angry, the people around her suffered. She was spiteful and vindictive, Mai knew this.

Once, Mai hadn't minded. She had even thought that they were friends, of a sort. The strange connection that they had wasn't a friendship in the conventional sense of the word, but for the two girls – each with her own set of psychological problems – it was as close as they could get.

That was before the accident.

Before Azula sent her away. Before she realized that she was just a tool.

The accident was just that, an accident. It was both their faults really. The Firebending prodigy should have considered the possibility that someone would come looking for her. After all, it had been hours since anyone had last seen her, and a missing princess was a big deal. She shouldn't have tried that advanced technique without locking the door.

Mai should have known not to open the door without knocking first. She had known Azula for years; she knew that she had a tendency to go off and practice her Firebending. She had been careless.

A moment of foolishness. One moment was all it took.

Mai's scream of pain echoed through the halls.

When Mai woke up, it was to white walls and the smell of disinfectant. She was lying on a bed in the palace infirmary, her hands wrapped in strips of white gauze.

It was a miracle really, the doctor said. Her hands had shielded her from the brunt of it. Things could have been much worse. The burns on her face were minor, he said. They would heal with no scarring.

But Mai wasn't listening. Slowly, she lifted her arms and stared at them. She could see them; they were right there.

Why couldn't she feel them?

The doctor was still talking.

…sustained major burns to your hands and parts of your arms…

…don't know if they will ever heal…

…did the best we could but…

What would this mean for her friendship with Azula?

She waited patiently for Azula to come. Mai was good at being patient. Waiting was boring, but then again, life was boring. She lay in that bed, waiting in that cold and impersonal room for her friend to show up. One day passed, then two.

Ty Lee came to see her everyday, staying as long as she was allowed. The normally bubbly girl seemed downcast, likely because Mai was injured. Mai couldn't understand it. Why was Ty Lee wasting her energy? Pitying her wasn't going to get anything done; sympathy wouldn't heal her hands. Nothing would.

Her mother visited once, looking appropriately sad. Father was busy, she said, urgent business. You understand? Mai nodded, her face perfectly polite, and a befitting expression on her face for the only daughter of a high-ranking official.

On the fifth day, Mai's patience was rewarded.

"Hello, Mai." Azula's tone was cool as ever.

Mai turned her head, only vaguely surprised. She had started to wonder if Azula wasn't going to come after all. Naturally, Azula managed to defy her expectations again.

"Azula," she murmured.

There was a silence. To the ordinary viewer, it would seem as if the two girls were staring at each other. However, both of them were masters of reading body language. Every movement, every look, had a double meaning.

Why didn't you come earlier? Mai's gaze asked.

A minute raise of her eyebrow was Azula's answer. I'm a princess, it said. I don't need to explain my reasons to you.

Mai tilted her head. We're friends?

Azula smiled. We are.

Mai moved her arms from under the sheets, displaying them on her lap. The gesture was clear. Don't you care that I'm hurt?

The smile disappeared. Azula shifted from one foot to the other, smoothing her hair.

Mai's forehead wrinkled in a tiny frown. She didn't know what to make of those actions. The shifting implied that Azula was uncomfortable with the question, which suggested that she  _did_ care. On the other hand, fixing her hair seemed to say that she was bored with the line of conversation.

The silence stretched on, and this time there were no deeper meanings. Azula was going to leave soon. Mai could tell. If she did, they would never bring up what had happened again. She had to find a way to keep Azula here.

"Azula," she said. The other girl raised her eyebrows when Mai didn't say anything else.

"Yes?"

"Do you care that I am injured?" she asked, not letting a hint of emotion seep into her words.

"I do."

Mai's heart lifted at the words, but she needed to be sure. "You do?"

"Of course," Azula's voice was soft, tender even. "I was devastated to hear that my clumsy friend landed herself in such a situation…"

Mai blinked. "What?"

"Tsk, tsk, Mai. Such a reckless thing to do, playing with explosives. You should have known better than that, even if you did think that they weren't working."

"Is that the story you've been telling everyone?"

Azula tilted her head to the side, an expression of innocent puzzlement on her face. They both knew it was an act. "Story? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

"Don't try that with me, Azula." Mai wasn't sure that she was supposed to be feeling this way, like a hot ball was lodged inside her chest, pushing to get out. The sensation was one that she hadn't felt since she was a small child. She was angry.

"Try what?"

The ball was pressing against her even harder. "It was  _you_ , Azula.  _You_  did this to me."

Azula's eyes narrowed and she flicked her hair. "I didn't do anything wrong. You should have known not to sneak up on a Firebender like that."

"This," – she raised her hands up – "is your fault, Azula."

"It is  _not_."

"It is." The pressure in her chest was unbelievable; she knew that if she didn't gain control of herself, she would end up doing something she'd regret. She turned away from Azula, a clear indication that the conversation was over.

It was the wrong move. She could tell as soon as she had made it. Azula was a princess, used to getting her way. A conversation wasn't done until she said it was.

She strode over and leaned over the bed. "Listen to me,  _Mai_ , this," – she grabbed Mai's bandaged hand – "is  _not_  my fault.  _I don't make mistakes_. Do you understand? It's not my fault you've lost the only thing that you were good at. It's not my fault you're useless now."

Mai's blood ran cold. Azula had just confirmed her most secret fear. She couldn't throw her knives. She couldn't even pick up anything. She was useless.

The anger was back. How could Azula say something like that to her? Weren't they friends? Of course they weren't. People like Azula didn't have any friends. Only tools.

A tight knot was making its way up her throat. There was a suspicious stinging behind her eyes. She couldn't take this. Why was she feeling like this? There were too many emotions running through her. She said the first thing that came into her mind. "You really are a heartless monster, aren't you? No wonder your mother left you."

In an instant, Azula's face was transformed. A furious snarl became etched there; her face looked so distorted Mai almost feared for her life. She sensed the slap coming before she even saw Azula raise her hand. The sharp bite of it was amplified by her burns. A dull throbbing started underneath her skin.

She didn't move, staring up into Azula's face. It appeared that hurting Mai had calmed her down. When she didn't say anything, Azula made a noise of derision. "What's the matter Mai? Got nothing to say?"

Mai knew what she needed to say. "I apologize, Princess. I was way out of line. It will not happen again."

"I know it won't." She grabbed Mai's hands and squeezed. Hard. And just like that, Azula was relaxed. She turned away from her, once again calm and in charge. "Goodbye, Mai."

"Goodbye."

It was if the previous exchange had never occurred. Mai pretended not to see the tiny, sadistic smirk on Azula's lips. Once Azula left, Mai leaned back and raised her hands to the light. She let a smirk of her own spread over her lips. Azula had done her a favor.

This encounter with Azula had given her the motivation that she needed. Before, she had been feeling hopeless, helpless. Now, she was going to prove Azula wrong. She was going to get better.

When she squeezed Mai's hands, it had hurt.

Her hands were still tingling, tiny prickles running up her arms. It hurt, but Mai had never been so happy at the feeling of pain. Pain meant that her nerve endings were still there. It meant that she had a chance to heal.

It would be a long and agonizing process, but Mai was prepared for that. Anything would be better than that dreadful numbness.

She wasn't useless, and she was going to prove it.

Not a day later, her mother came to see her again. She was clearly excited, her words spilling over themselves. But that was okay, because there was no one but Mai present to see her lapse of control. Her father had just gotten promoted, she said. Governor of one of the Earth Kingdom colonies. There were already rumors that Omashu was going to fall, at least in the next five years. When it did, her father was sure to be assigned the title of Governor there. Wasn't that exciting?

Mai said of course that was exciting. Such an honor.

All the while, her mind was whirling. Azula was behind this. It would never be official, but Mai understood what had just happened. She had just been banished. The princess wouldn't say anything about it, but Mai knew that if she stepped foot on Fire Nation soil without Azula's express permission, there would be consequences.

Fine. She would go to the Earth Kingdom and she would heal. It didn't matter how long it would take, because one day, she was going to be better. And when Azula called her back – and she  _would_ call her back, of that, Mai was sure – she would play along, act that part of a pet knife-thrower. She would obey Azula only because it was boring without her, not for any silly notions of 'friendship.'

People like Azula didn't have friends, and she had been a fool to think otherwise. This was what acting on her emotions had gotten her. She would not make that mistake again.

**Author's Note:**

> Do you have any questions, comments, concerns? If you do, tell me. Each review is appreciated.


End file.
